A Self Help Skill Formula To Apply To Any Goal or Challenge

We are often led to believe that the solution to our problems are to be found within the realm of the 'ego'. The self help skill formula you will learn here isn't about strengthening or working with ego. It's about circumventing the ego and it's problems and addressing the situation directly. As with any real solution it works only to the extent that it is attentively applied.

A Self Help Formula To Apply To Any Goal or Challenge

Taking The Ego Out of the Picture

Meeting challenges, goals or problems in life brings us face-to-face with our ego. We may feel fearful, uncertain or lacking. We may feel doubt and lose confidence. We may worry about the outcome and about what others may think of us. This is very natural.

There is no harm in the problems outlined above. Yet, so often we are led to believe that the solution lies in fixing these 'ego weaknesses' so that we can finally move forward. Before we know it we become 'problem oriented', even as we think that we are working towards a solution. We focus on what needs 'fixing' and we forget to call on the powerful resources we already have.

For example, if it looks like we are thinking small - we are told that the solution is to think big. If we lack self-belief and don't think we can accomplish a task or face-up to a challenge, we are encouraged to inflate our self-image to the point of being seemingly invincible.

This is not to say that these 'ego strengthening tactics' don't have their time and place. They can be effective to a degree. Yet, they can also create an internal struggle for to use these ego-strategies is to pit ourselves against ourselves, as we painfully identify our faults and shortcomings. This additional burden lands on top of the challenge we already face!

The strength of the self help skill formula is that it takes our ego completely out of the picture. It bypasses the ego, thereby removing the very thing that so often gets in our way. Using this formula is akin to removing a grain of sand from the eye so that we can 'see'. This allows us to deal with the problem professionally rather than emotionally through the application of creativity, flexibility and skill (C.F.S.).

A Self Help Formula To Apply To Any Goal or Challenge

C.F.S.

C.F.S. is a self help skill formula you can apply to any goal or challenge. It helps organize our thinking and mobilize our energy to accomplish what we set out to do. C.F.S. stands for:

• C = Creativity.


• F = Flexibility.


• S = Skill.

What does this 'professional', as opposed to, 'emotional' approach look like? Here's how it works...

A Self Help Skill Formula To Apply To Any Goal or Challenge

Creativity

What is creativity within the context of this self help skill formula? Creativity, in this context, is guided by the following two questions:

1) What do I really want?

2) What can stop me from getting it?

If we don't know what we want, how can we make a serious effort to get it? We can't. Without a target, without a goal, we fritter away much of our energy on pointless struggle. We are pulled this way and that. There is no framework to contain our energies and give us direction. Once we have decided what we want - and I do mean here a firm decision - then we ask ourselves, "What can stop me from getting it?"

The creative answer is NOTHING. This is the premise that creativity takes vis-a-vis the things you want to achieve. The key to creativity is that it knows no limits. It has no boundaries.

Look at the world of nature. The seedling that finds a way to grow through a crack in the sidewalk. The water that erodes whole mountains and bores through rock. This is the creative power of life that flows within us. Tapping into this boundless creativity is to breathe life into the saying, "Where there is a will, there's a way." Take the creativity out and this saying quickly becomes a cliche.

The nature of creativity is to flow around obstacles. Armed with this new knowledge, we can now feel confident of finding answers to the questions we ask ourselves, "What obtacles will I need to overcome in order to meet my objectives? What are the things that can stop me from getting what I want?"

This brings us to the second stage of the self help skill formula.

A Self Help Skill Formula To Apply To Any Goal or Challenge

Flexibility

What is meant by flexibility within the context of this self help skill formula? Flexibility is guided by these two questions:

1) What do I need to change?

2) Can I change as required?

In the first stage, we made a decision as to what we wanted and then we made a realistic assessment of obstacles standing in our way. We also established a trust that there is a creative solution to any problem that may present itself, or a way around any obstacles that may come our way. Now we address the issue of change.

How will achieving our goal, aim or purpose require us to change? We may wonder why we have to change? We say to ourselves, "Can't I just stay the same and achieve my goals regardless?" However, logic tells us that change is a necessary part of the process. But our emotions are not so easily convinced. Our emotions want to know if there is a way to obtain the necessary change we want without having to change ourselves in the process.

If the goal is significant or meaningful enough, we set aside our emotions and seriously begin to mobilize ourselves for the change that is to take place. We will be required to stretch beyond the limits of who we are now - into something new.

It's Einstein who offered the now-famous definition of insanity as, "Doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different result." This exemplifies the degree of resistance we have for change, even when the need for change is clearly identified and desired. If we aren't able to change a part of who we are or how we do things, then we may lack the flexibility to succeed in our mission.

When faced with a goal, challenge or difficulty, we need to be crystal clear about the kind of changes we are being asked to make. Then, we need to commit to making those changes. If we aren't willing to commit to the changes that need to be made, then we should either scale down our goal to something that requires change we can handle, or simply admit that this isn't a goal we want badly enough.

The challenge of flexibility often comes down to the inner-conflict that arises between our desire for change and our equally strong desire (mostly subconscious) for wanting to stay the same.

On the one hand, we want things to be different. On the other hand, we want things to remain as they are. We are torn between the emotional reflex of wanting to maintain our current habits and ways of doing things and our desire to experience something new and different.

"How does one become a butterfly? You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."

~Trina Paulus

The bottom line is that we don't want to be bent-out-of-shape in order to achieve our goal. Yet, this is exactly what's being asked of us. We need to become flexible, supple. We need to relax the muscles of who we think we are now - and let ourselves stretch. The more we allow this stretching, the less likely we are to return to our former shape. We see change taking place and our goals being reached.

Feel free to browse through a selective collection of self motivation quotes and wise words of wisdom to help you stretch your mind.

A Self Help Skill Formula To Apply To Any Goal or Challenge

Skill

The third step of the self help skill formula is skill. The guiding questions here are:

1) What skills are required?

2) What new skills do I need to develop?

We need to honestly assess our current skills and/or skill level. Do we have the skills required to achieve our goal? Perhaps we have only to raise the level of ability in a skill we already possess, or perhaps we need to learn a new skill - and do something we have never done before.

Our skill level is the armour that protects us from bouts of self-attack. It protects us from the arrows of self-doubt and insecurity which we often launch against ourselves. When our skill level is high, or when our skills are plentiful, we don't need to compensate with ego for lack of ability.

Skill is a wonderful liberator. It liberates us from the ego. When we are truly skilled at something we don't feel the need to defend ourselves. We feel confident that we can achieve our aims regardless of any opposition.

The more skills we have, and the higher the skill levels we reach, the more flexible and creative we can be. Skill generates creativity and promotes flexibility. In concluding, all three encourage personal growth that goes beyond a fixed definition of ourselves. Creatitivity, flexibility and skill provide a potent mixture that is hard to beat, or more accurately, makes us hard to beat.

A Self Help Skill Formula To Apply To Any Situation

Summary

The beauty of the C.F.S. self-help skill formula is that it leaves our ego at the door. Creativity, flexibility and skill are essentially 'egoless' qualities that are part of our innate core. Anyone, regardless of whom it is... can be creative, flexible and skillful. These are human traits that emerge from our true inner self and the subconscious habit mind. When we operate with these factors on our side there is little, to nothing, that can stop us. Use them well. Use them often.

For more out-of-the-mind self improvement and motivation articles related to the self help skill formula, visit:

To Thine Own Self Be True

Power Of The Subconscious Mind

Being Creative - Trusting The Creative Instinct

Return from Self Help Skill Formula to Self Improvement Ideas

Return from Self Help Skill Formula to Self Help Motivation

Return from Self Help Formula to Out-of-the-Mind Self Improvement and Motivation Homepage

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